It’s been a very crazy emotional weekend for me. BUT, I did weigh in today. It’s been exactly one week (7days) since my first weigh in and my CW is: 162.8.
I lost 3.1lbs in a week! 6/13/13 I’ve been going to the gym 5 days a week and being very intentional with what I eat. I feel like I’m getting sick. So it’s taken away my appetite. But I’m proud of myself. Slowly BUT surely the weights coming off. And I honesty can ONLY give ALL the glory to GOD :)
Starting the gallon challenge again today! Wish me luck ;)
So I’ve been on this “diet” for the past 4 days. Not long, I know. And I also don’t want to call it a diet, because that word right away gives me the mindset that:
1- I just want to be skinny
2- I have to starve myself
3- it’s a temporary eating style
4- I’m going to FAIL
I really want it to be a lifestyle. I actually enjoy eating healthy. I actually like vegetables and fruits! For many years I related fruits and vegetables to “diets” and subconsciously I didn’t like these foods because they reminded me of something I didn’t like, dieting! I remember I was in the 5th grade when I grabbed a bag of chips from my pantry. I opened them to eat them and my little (tiny) 5 year old sister passed by with a cup of water. My mom (who I know was just trying to be a good mom) grabbed the chips from my hand, handed them to my sister and handed me her cup of water. She said I should be drinking water and not eating chips. Right away in my little 10year old mind I became aware that water was not what I wanted. Because when someone tells you no, you want to rebel. So for a long time I didn’t like drinking water. This is where it all began. So, the summer out of fifth grade and into sixth I went through what every boy and girl go through,puberty! So just by my body changing I went from 4’10 and 130lbs, to 5’0 and 100lbs! I lost 30lbs that summer and I didn’t know way to do with myself. My mom started buying me tighter fitting clothes and actually cute clothes! When I got to middle school boys actually started talking to me and even liking me! What was a girl to do! Right then I believed that I was liked by others( especially boys) because of my weight and NOT my personality. So in order to keep people liking me i stopped eating. I wouldn’t eat breakfast, and when it came to lunch I would eat CHIPS! The thing my mom told me NOT to eat months before. I would eat 2 bags of chips for lunch with a diet soda everyday. Then when it came to dinner time I would lie and say I had a “big lunch” at school. This went on for a couple months. I went down to 95lbs. And I wasn’t satisfied. The next day at school I almost fainted. And my mom was called to the school. I had “early signs of anorexia” as the nurse called it. From there my mom payed very close attention to my eating habits, but still in was not allowed junk food. This was up & down all through middle school. In high school I joined the gym and would work out as much as possibly could, but then binge the moment I got home. I would starve myself for 2 days then eat everything in sight. My weight was so unbalanced. My junior year I was 110-115lbs. And that’s when I felt the most comfortable in my body. But also, that’s when I got my first real boyfriend. So again, my mind stamped the lie that people were attracted to me because of my body and NOT my personality. In my first year in the relationship I gained 60lbs!!! I was 5’0 at 178lbs! The biggest I have ever been. And because I’m so short it was very very unhealthy. Because he “loved me” I ate because I was happy and I was loved. So why watch my weight? I finally didn’t care! I finally had someone who didn’t judge me and who didn’t leave me because of my body. I was in that relationship for almost 4 years. When it was over and I was alone I could not believe how much I had let myself go. I cried all the time. I was depressed so I would starve myself and work out for hours. Then days later binge all weekend. I had no self-control and no balance. I was either on one side of the spectrum or the other. There was no middle for me. I didn’t know a middle existed! I got to 140lbs and got stuck. But I didn’t feel too bad. Then I did 2 years at a school that forever changed my life and my relationship with God. And it was in that place that I learned that I was loved, not because of my body. But because I’m the daughter of the King. The creator of the universe. So, now I am trying really hard to not lose weight the easy way. I have tried every diet possible. And I was never consistent. If I didn’t see change quick then I’d give up. I want this to be a lifestyle and NOT just a diet.
So today I weighed myself, I’m not happy about my weight at all. But I’m trying hard to not let the numbers discourage me.
So as of June 6, 2013
My current weight(CW) is 165.9lbs.
My goal weight(GW) is 115lbs.
That’s 50.9lbs to lose.
And to be honest. It seems so IMPOSSIBLE to me right now.
Then I remember Matthew 19:26 Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God ALL things are possible.”
How assuring to know that with my God ALL things are possible. Not just some. Not just the big things. But ALL things. Including weight loss! I’m doing a Devo right now called “Made to Crave Devotional” by Lysa Terkeurst.
She also has the book called “Made to Crave”. I have friends who have read this book and its changed their perspectives on eating and how important it is to God because its important to us. The devotional is really good. It’s 60 days to craving God, not food :) and it’s so encouraging! So I recommend it to you all!
Keep me in your prayers as I embark on my new healthy life style. Be blessed. -Kat
The peanut butter spoon soothes my sweet cravings ;)
Just some of the meals I’ve made in the past week. The mashed cauliflower was deeeelish, great substitute for mashed potatoes :)
So my grandmother told me about the cutest farmers market. I bought my veggies & fruit here today and ended up in there for almost 2 hours just walking around, taking pictures and enjoying it all. It was very cheap too. This is my new place and I love it.
Hope you have a good farmers market around your area. Most farmers markets will always have the freshest fruits & veggies and for very cheap!
I want to start off saying that this was not my idea. Seeing as I recently found out I am way to prideful for this. For the past month I have decided to have some change in my life. Not that moving from one state to another isn’t change enough, But I really felt in my spirit to start this blog. I literally told God “this is too out there God, I cant start a blog about my biggest insecurity it’s embarrassing!” all I heard back was, ”Kat, this will be another level of humility. Eat some humble pie, it has no calories!” (God has a sense of humor) And though I fought God about it for weeks, He obviously won ;) doesn’t He always?lol
Now, I know there are thousands upon thousands of “health, thinspiration, get fit” blogs. And yess I follow many of those. But, this I want to be a bit different. See, I live a life that not many people my age live. I am a 23 year old single girl that is madly in love with the creator of the universe. I try to live a life pleasing to God, and that makes me happy. It’s not religion, but relationship, a lifestyle that I enjoy everyday.
So, all of this said. I really want this to be a page that above all else glorifies God. A page where you can come and feel refreshed. A place where you can be inspired by the word of God. And a place where you know you are NOT the only girl going through insecurities and low-self esteem. My prayer is that not only is my mindset shifted into the Lords mindset, but that your mindset is also changed and made new to really truly know how beautifully we have been created by God.
*For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. -Psalm 139:13-14 NIV
My hope is that I can fully understand What God says about His children, especially His daughters, us!
So I Katherine, invite you to join my journey. A journey of new beginnings, a journey of a new healthy lifestyle with God right by my side. A journey that I know wont always be the easiest, but a journey where I fully rely on Jesus Christ for strength and guidance. A journey of healthy weight loss. My heart is to glorify God in everything I do, say and think, and my heart is also to glorify God with my body, His temple.
Thanks for reading my intro.lol My next post will be on my weight, goal weight, and personal struggle with weight loss since the 5th grade. Hope you enjoyed it, and stay motivated. Know that you are not alone. sweeeet dreams ya’ll<3